It has been a month since our last newsletter. Sounds like a confession! You may have been wondering where I have been.
It is truth time.
When I began my coaching business I had a dream to specialise in the performing arts. I had the vision, the background and the desire. Then something happened – I got scared.
Comments from friends and a mentor, that I would be broke with this as my market, fed into my own doubts. I guess you could say I threw away my dream and decided it was time to grow up and and get a real job!
This year, while working with the team at Heart of Business I knew I had to honour the dream in my heart. How can I help people have the career of their dreams and ignore my own?
It has been a month of allowing the vision to crystallise. The amazing thing is that everything that I have been working on my whole life is encapsulated in this vision. I have the rest of my feel life to gradually bring it into the world.
Am I still scared? – you bet. It is big. My heart is open and inspired. There is courage here too. I don’t have to know all the steps, I just need to trust that they will be revealed to me in time.
We hide them deep within us, pretend they don’t exist and struggle to give voice to what we desire. They may nudge us quietly and still we do everything in our power to avoid hearing what we know deep down to be so.
Discussing ‘my business niche’ with a good friend was the moment my heart felt safe enough to whisper these words.”Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I devoted my business completely to my love of the performing arts?” There was no going back. The dream was out of the box.
Her beautiful words to me were this, “Sometimes it is not about finding your niche, it is about releasing the resistance to the one that is already there.” That felt big, vulnerable, seen, scary and so true.
I signed that contract at the age of 4 – “I Shiona commit to giving my life to the Performing Arts from this moment on.”
Deep down I believe we all make this pledge, to something, something dear to our hearts and then we forget what it is! We spend the rest of our life looking for what we know to be so.
What gets in the way?
FEAR. Worries about what people will think of us, that they won’t like us any more, fear that we are not good enough, of failure, of success, of being laughed at, of taking action, or not taking action…it goes on and on.
Sooner or later it gets easier to pretend the dream doesn’t exist, then to face the ‘truth’ of those fears. This doesn’t mean the dream goes away – far from it. We have just piled so much rubbish on top of it, the dream becomes unrecognisable.
What my friend says is true...it isn’t about finding a dream, it is about releasing the resistance to the one that is already there. That takes courage. Admitting your dream to yourself is such a vulnerable thing to do. Tenderness, patience and space is required.
It is so common for the people around us to unintentionally plant doubt into our desire, simply by sharing an opinion. Often this is out of love for us, fearing that we will get hurt in the process, forgetting that NOT reaching for your dreams hurts too. As does having someone love you and not understand how much it means to you.
Having a friend who believes in you can help so much. Ultimately it is you being the friend that believes in you regardless of what is thrown your way. There is such power in that.
1. Sit quietly with this question…If there were no bills to pay, other people to please and success was guaranteed what would I do with my life? Listen very carefully to the quiet voice within.
2. Spend time dreaming again, without sharing your dream with a single soul. Write, draw, add random words to a secret piece of paper, take long walks, do the things you love again. Give yourself lots of space for the dream to germinate. Nurture it as you would a child, or a garden.
3. When it feels right, ask your heart. “What is one simple step that I could take to bring my dream to life?” Trust what you are given. Add this to your diary and do it. Pay attention to how good it feels…then take the next step.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Lao Tzu.
As Walt Disney says.. If you can dream it, do it and this one…I hope we don’t loose sight of one thing, it was all started by a mouse.
Let’s begin together.
Please share your thoughts and comments about this post. I would love to hear from you. To contact me directly, you can contact Shiona here.